Waxing Ridiculous - A true story of woe and intrigue.

Hey, everyone. I'm back!

First, the upcoming story doesn't involve either woe or intrigue. I just wanted to make the title more interesting. Now that we've gotten that out of the way:

It's been a long few weeks. I'm not sure there's ever been a period in my life when I was trying to balance this amount of homework, errands and chores, social life, time with Chris, visits to see family, church-related activities, not to mention emotional stress.

I'd appreciate continued prayer about my depression. I'm getting so much better--that much I know, based on the amount I'm able to laugh and smile now. :) However, it's difficult to be patient. God's timing is good but my fallen self wants to make everything I want happen when I want it!

Dear reader, I promised a commentary on the Easter vigil I attended to see my friend Lauren get baptized... *deep breath*

Round One: Little girl botches her blessing.

The last time I went to a Catholic church was five-plus years ago. I made a fool of myself. When it was time to take sacraments, clueless Protestant I was, I made the sign of the cross to be blessed, then still took communion! Two reasons why this is bad:

1. Non-catholics do not take communion in mass.
2. Catholics who make the sign of the cross, as I did, do so because they feel that they've been too sinful to take communion.

Therefore, I either looked like a stupid visitor, or a stupid Catholic.
In any case, I really confused the clergy.

Oh, and I thought the sign of the cross meant crossing my two index fingers. Good thing I saw the people putting their arms across their chest before I embarassed myself further!

Round Two: Young woman burns herself with an Easter candle.

I entered the sanctuary--maybe that's the wrong name, but I digress--and felt like an elementary schooler trying to find a seat at the lunch table on the first day of school. I thrilled with relief when I saw my friend Sandy sitting off to the side.

As I got closer, I wasn't sure if it was Sandy, because she looked different with her hair the way it was, and I was already very flustered and confused. I made a show of squinting at her and saying, "You are Sandy, right?" Yeah. Wow.

Once the candle lighting was about to begin, I realized I didn't get a candle at the door. Sandy's friend ran off to find one. He managed to, but instead of the kind with the plastic cup holder meant to catch wax, it was the kind with a circle of paper around it. Okay, I thought, this should be fine.

We were in the middle of singing a lovely responsive song about our souls longing after God when I hissed a sharp, "Ouch!" I looked down to see melted wax dripping off the paper, onto my hand and my black slacks. I spent the next five to seven minutes trying to manipulate the candle so the drops wouldn't fall, as well as scratching dried wax off various items with my fingernail and subtly gathering the pieces to put on the floor.

Then, it was time for baptisms. "Family and friends of Lauren Stewart." People stood. "Family and friends of..." Oh, I get it now. Uh....I think I missed my cue. I stood up awkwardly after an irrelevant family and whispered frantically to  Sandy's Catholic friend, "What do I do? Should I go?" Affirmative. I walked, all by my lonesome, to the exit. Everyone had already turned toward the baptismal just outside glass windows at the exit, so everyone's head was directed toward me, staring with eyes that bored into my soul.

Okay, okay, I'm being a little melodramatic. I felt like all eyes were on me, and I booked it as gracefully as a person can book it.

What was that about being clueless five-plus years ago?

THE END


I should have expected all that! :) It was a beautiful service overall, though I have my disagreements about the way some things are done. People read lots of scripture, and the congregation shared lots of songs about God's glorious work and character. The atmosphere was refreshingly reverent.

My disagreements are for another post, or personal inquiry.

Hope this afforded you some amount of entertainment! It did Chris and Katie! Jaimie Krycho, over and out!