Why, then, do I see God as so unflaggingly serious?
Karen (my mentor) and I are working through the "Be Transformed" Bible study this summer. It's material she used to counsel me for the last year that changed my life before I ever even saw the book. The current lesson helped me uncover some faulty views of God that I've nursed over the years.
If you know me well, these samples won't surprise you:
OH MY GOSH! Chris just scared the heck out of me by hijacking my screen from the other room using his Mac! I thought Verk 4--that's my MacBook--was haunted! I just typed the above colon when the screen started typing on itself:
"II' am really pretty! Yay! Chris loves me! Sorry..." <(the "II' am" was the result of me trying to fight the computer ghost)
Anyway, as I was saying, these samples won't surprise you:
- I feel as if I need to be favored by God to be worth anything as a Christian.
- I feel as if God gets exasperated with me.
- I feel approved of when I'm "doing things right" but shunned when I make a mistake.
Based Jesus' statement that he and the Father are one, the Bible study instructed me to write down my emotional understanding of Jesus and compare it to my understanding of God. They were quite different, but one thing stayed the same: I feel like Jesus and God are hard to approach, hard to relate to, and very, very serious.
And sure, of course they're serious! But that's not all they are.
For some reason, though, I can't seem to fit extreme joy, giddiness, delight into what I read about God in the Bible. I know it must be in there somewhere! God created me with a very happy heart that loves life, so that is, unquestionably, part of him, my Creator. Why can't I see it?
Any insight, dear reader? If I find a vestige of an answer, I'll let you know!
Until then, I'm off to cook dinner with Chelsea!